Do the words girlfriend/boyfriend steal away self-identity?

So like most people my age (apologies if you’re not included) I have a GF, we’ve been together for a while now. We’ve had our ups and downs… In those ups and downs what has been or remained of question is what exactly is a girlfriend/boyfriend and to be more accommodative of the forever changing world what exactly is a partner?

What exactly is a partner in ones life both as male and female? I am sure you’re already making up a mental list of all the things a partner is suppose to be. Right? Good.

Now the one thing we can agree on is that everyone’s ideal partner is different. We want our partners to mean something different compared to someone else. Within that list however I am here to state that there are an abundant number of errors… Things you shouldn’t really include… I know I know, what am I talking bout…well just shut up and listen or rather read with intent to listen.

I recently a few weeks back watch Lust Stories (2018) which in my opinion as a lover of Indian films was a delight to watch, except there was still no kissing!!! god damnit Indian films. Anyhow in one of the scenes this character poses or rather makes an intriguing statement bout how we shouldn’t ask an individual to be “our lover, our bestfriends and our wildest fantasies”, it’s too much pressure, choose one at most.

I have to say I nodded at this statement, frankly cause playing all roles for your partner is rather unsettling/exhausting. Having to play both lover and bestfriend to your partner is too much. I am playful with my friend, I make rather abstract sexual jokes and we have open conversations…allowing myself to be insensitive most times. Conversation which my partner has found ‘too much’ but its my friends, not to make this statement cruel but they have been there way longer than you.

I find that you absolutely cannot or rather shouldn’t try to be your lover’s bestfriend, cause frankly they need someone outside you to talk stuff with and if you’re they ‘Rock’ ooh boy!!! Iceberg ahead.

Furthermore wildest fantasy?…now this is plain cruel for all sides. You cannot absolutely ask me or remotely suggest me to make you my wildest fantasy… then were will Paris Hilton go?. I have been fantasizing bout her since I knew what sex was… I can’t let that relationship die. Even for you…get your fantasies on I don’t mind. Don’t try and make me your wildest fantasies that is too much pressure…now to fulfill your fantasy I gotta get a six pack, gotta learn math & science, have to play sport…ahh fuck that!!!! You want to fantasise about Ryan Gosling or Brad Pitt…be my guest girl… I cannot argue with that…hell I’d do him if I swung that way. My point if you’re getting it, is fucking relax. Stop putting so much pressure on your partner…let them live outside you, I am not a god damn prisoner.

Anyway I still haven’t made my point bout my title, if this was an essay I wouldn’t get an A and I want my fucking A.

Does the word GF/BF/Partner steal self-identity? Yes. You’re at a party with your partner and you bump into YOUR friends and s/he is right next to you… You’re introducing him/her. What do you say?

“Hey guys, this is my GF/BF Cynthie”. Wait hold up! Hold up! Am I my name first or your partner first? Why can’t I just be my name? I am not saying don’t mention I am your partner but I am saying let the people ask first. Why can’t I just have my own identity first and then afterward…if questions are asked I can be part of your identity.

For me, the people who matter know who my GF is…anyone else heard it from gossip or those forever people who like things. Can you just let the girl live a little without this entitlement that you’ve hung over her shoulder now as YOUR GF…geezus fuck sakes.

Perhaps I am being a little nonsensical…that is a word, exaggerating things but am I? Am I really? Do you enjoy losing self-identity amongst strangers? Everyone coming to you at the party with ‘Hey, you’re JC’s GF right?’ no bitch…my name is Cynthie…

Well trust me by the end of the party people won’t know you as Cynthie or whatever your name is… You will leave the party as JC’s GF and that is fucked up!!

Blogger out

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