In the past 2 decades of my lifetime so far, I have a few moments of falling in and out of love, I am not sure I can call it love per se rather crushes.
To be honest it is still til this day that some of my crushes still hold a place of feelings deep down in me. In here I would like to share some of the best crushes I have had in my years. If I can be brutally honest which I am often cruxified for being, screw that. These many crushes vary in different aspect, which is good right…that means I dont necessary have a type? All crushes I was attracted to for various reasons ranging from beauty, intellect, personality and physical appeal. It is not say all these humans dont have a combination of the facets, but some had more than the other…oops here is that honesty.
Unfortunately I cannot mention names as this will cause uneccesary utterance…noise basically…but the info I give will leave enough clues for your mind to assume…ya’ll are good at that
I am a writer and if I dont express feelings physically, I often choose to do it via written words… I can get creative with words when the need arrives.
If in your life you had entertained the idea that I like you or have a crush on you or I am trying to get you and I HAVE NEVER WRITTEN SOMETHING OR MADE AN ATTEMPT TO HAVE DINNER WITH YOU!!! Its all a lie! I dont really give 2 cents bout you…so there!! honesty.
I want to choose perhaps the best 4 crushes I have ever had in my life-time…so far..and explain perhaps why I decided to write poems for them.
1. My number one white girl.
There are perhaps things as a human you think bout and there bring you to tears…considering the many moments I had with this lady, I tear up everytime there is a full moon, because I look at it and I think bout her…yes in the last moments we shared together…we looked at the moon and promised that we would write to each other every time there was a full moon. I can honestly tell you that didn’t happen a few years later. The first poem I published online was for her. We’ would spend late evenings together in her car and I’d fall inlove with her with every giggle she uttered. Its not often you get someone who makes you smile but she did…I knew we were never going to be together a lot of things would have fallen apart if we ever did…so I wrote a poem telling her that I loved her.
2. Because she reminds me of my sister
Now here is a crush that has caused conflict; conflict that my friends and acquintances have always been confused why I like her so damn much. She’s basically a crazy loud lunatic, trust me when I say that is a compliment. I can honestly say the day I kissed her I was shocked it was happening. I didn’t know how to go forward from there. Even the girl has always been questioning why I liked her so much..and perhaps one reason that trumps them all is because she reminds me of my older sister. I hardly remember my sister clearly because I was young when I was with her. All I can tell you is that around her I felt this warm aura…I felt connected to her..this crush resembles physical attributes to that of my sister. I am drawn to her presence like a moth to a light…deadly and poisonous but I like her. I wrote poems to her because I am trying to tell her why I like her…that it is not to strip her naked and have me sweat over her…rather it is her personality and her presence that I like
3. Instant attraction
There are people you meet and instantly you can tell you want them. I wanted her from day one. Attractive, contagious laugh or giggle whatever it fucking was, it got me interested and horny. To be honest I knew me and her were never gonna be in a relationship, but I wanted her. I had to wait for two years. I had to work hard to hide my craving for her thighs, for her ass, her breasts. I had to pretend that when I looked at her, I didn’t see myself and her pinned against the wall and having a go at each other. When we finally had each other, I instantly wanted more of her. I was conflicted if I should utter that or what, so I wrote it all to her… How much I wanted seconds, how much I had craved for her.. I used written words to paint her the picture of the sex we had…no, the fucking session we had… I wrote to her so I can tell her what I want to do to her next…all the things I had imagined.
then there is four, compared to the three previous crushes, the forth one is not as intense. I want to share it however because its tricky.
4. I want you but I don’t know why.
Its not that she makes me horny, in all retrospect she doesn’t…neither does she make me laugh…but I just want her…and not for anything sexual either. She is pretty and perhaps that is then the reason? I am baffled by my own mind. For some odd reason there is an attraction I have for this young girl that I cannot explain, that is why I wrote a poem to her. Telling her there exist deep feelings within me that are so microscopic that I cannot make a sense of what there means. This crush I perhaps can call a work in progress.
I am a curious person, I am interested in knowing many things.. Knowing my crushes, well is always a thing for me. Unfortunately its not all my crushes I want to bed/fuck stupid I know. Without any attempt what so ever these individuals have helped me put little pieces of myself together…assisted me in figuring out what/who I like…
Subconciously all the poems I write to them are compliments for being who they, for letting me communicated with them, for helping me get access to me and my emotions. Almost all the poetry wtitten for these ladies is online on my FB account under notes; With the following titles.
1. OUR SONG
3. YOU HAVE ONE vOICEMAIL MESSGE
4…..I didnt write it on FB..it was a text; I probably won’t, she’ll never let me hear the end of it.
People say you shouldn’t get your crushes, well it’s all a lie.