At most times when I write, I have gathered information from personal experiences, experiences of those around me and memes help too. Hence why I have come to ask myself, is it the guys job to always keep the relationship afloat?
I haven’t been in many relationships in my life, but I have been in enough to understand that, there are a lot of expectations.
In most my relationships, not many I have challenged my partners to develop the ability to meet me halfway; I’ll explain what I mean a little later in the reading.
The world has rather turned our genitals to commodity; unfortunately ours as male are not worth as much or At least we men have not placed value on them. You’ll correct me if I am wrong but it seems in most relationships women have the belief that just bringing themselves is worth it all; think about it, don’t scream out ‘feminist in me’ just yet, I have a lot to say you might not like.
Yes, there is that if I bring vagina, I have brought everything tendency. Well not really, you gotta bring more than that, because unfortunately all women have vagina but it’s not all that can make you feel a certain or offer you precious memories.
I had a conversation with my friend Mfalme, who tells me that this lady contacts him that she’s really craving for some SEX; sex is exciting right, he says alright come over! She says can you call me an uber to fetch me? He replies I don’t have any funds with me unfortunately.
Her: Can you make a plan?
What? Can he make a plan? Who contacted who for sex here? Why should I be the one to make a plan now? I don’t have money! Unfortunately the night ended with no sex but the next day she still wanted some.
My point is, the situation was turned on its heels were the lady suddenly placed vagina at a higher value than the penis, so now the guy has to work hard in order to get vagina.
That’s not fair!
It has been like that in history as well hasn’t it. Vagina is up there with success and riches. As my friend Mfalme says ‘ as a guy you are constantly told if not directly, by the media that once you are rich and successful you can get as much pussy as you want!’
So, psychologically some men live on this disillusioned policy that if they offer women money and all the good things life has to offer, she in hands owes him vagina. And that my friend is were things like people forcing themselves on people start occurring.
This is a bad out look.
Whose fault is it really? No one, maybe? As much as I can give men advice that they must start putting value on their penises more, I really need to give women advice that they must stop this belief that vagina is the most valuable thing they bring into the table or relationships and that the guy has to work twice as hard to maintain it.
I read a meme that say ‘if you have a bf and he hasn’t text you for a week but posts daily what does it mean?
Ahh it means why don’t you text him and ask him how is he? Why does he have to be the one that text all the god damn time.
And please don’t text “wathula kangaka (why are so quiet)?” that’s just lazy from your sexy ass self.
Now this one is personal; a tendency were I usually have more conversations, were I have to beg my partner to share any story she has… it’s messed up because she would call and say let’s talk but the talking would usually come from one side.
Some women have this “I don’t have anything to say” line. It grinds my nuts. If my partner is reading this, she’s probably grinding her tits because I tell her this.
It won’t drop your value to ask how he is? Ask him to tell you about his day? More importantly just begin a random story about anything. Guys have developed this tendency to not speak much about their day because hardly anyone asks how their day was, so they build a wall of resistance to the question with “uhhmm nothing much” and because there is this wall, you have to be creative about how you ask the question!
Be like “Ohhh something interesting happen to me today that you won’t believe, but I have to hear everything about how was your day” what does this do? It’s playful competition, in his mind this guy will now want to tell you mostly everything in his day because he wants the reward of your story!
I have many stories, past and present; I can have a conversation about anything, but say something too, offer me things that when I think of you, I have so many things I see in my head and I go “I fucking love this girl”
That goes for dates too. I know what society has done to us. The social status quo clearly puts pressure on men to be the ones that ask for dates/make dates
But come on, we’re in a relationship now. Take me out, doesn’t even have to out , just plan a date, let’s go have fun. I like walking, ask me to walk with you, dance with you, make a long Phone call. it can’t be that when I am alone and thinking of you, I only thing about the times I planned dates for us or think about times of SEX kuphela, fuck that man.
I can certainly tell you I have a lasting memory of an old friend who use to take me out every Wednesday for that Steers burger special and we’d sit for hours just talking in her car.
I certainly can’t speak for everyone. Relationships differ, we all have our flaws, I am certainly not saying I don’t have my own, but I won’t know them until you tell them to me.
I think it’s high we all change the way we see relationships. Women need to be more honest with themselves, if you want dick, just say it! It won’t devalue you as a women, the same when you are not interested, don’t give signs, be direct.
Men as hard as it maybe, be clear too about what your interests are, you want all of her or just some of her, stop playing with women. People we are adults! The things you want in a relationships, I can be certain your man wants it to be done to him too. So can we all offer equality were it matters in these relationships please!
I can tell you I have more to add still but…
What is your opinion, I’d love to hear a different perspective, am I just shitting bricks here??