This is my second writing in 2 months related to sex? It could be my psyche telling that I’ve gone perhaps too long without it; 5 months is long, OMG! Well, I am in a foreign country, it’s going to be a while. Okay, let’s get to business or pleasure; See what I did there? first of all, answers to the above questions come in floods, quite a lot of different answers I got from the people I asked, and of course using my own experience, the answers as many as there are, there are certainly commonalities within them.
I have had quite a few sex(ual) experiences in my life, more than I thought I would have when I was young; honestly I didn’t think I would sleep with as many females as I have in my life, of course I shall not disclose that number; it’s not a hectic number, I’d like to think I am not a whore, but that’s another question we should ask ourselves; what defines a whore? Is whoring not supposed to refer to sex plus remuneration? Unless I am mistaken? However, in this changing world whore has been redefined.
Anyhow, I wanted to explore this question of what makes great sex? In my fair share of sexual activities, I believe I have had moments where I would refer to the sex as being great. Of course, I think we should all engage in sex to make sure it becomes a great experience, but we have our bad days, don’t we? Sometimes you just don’t feel it, and it could range from a variety of things.
I certainly have had those days too, sometimes, honestly were I was bad, performance not at its peak; then you hope you can have her again so you can redeem yourself but it never happens again; I mean why would it; it would be like giving an assassin a chance to kill you again after they missed their shot. However, come on, let me redeem my strokes, no can-do baby doll. Don’t you just hate that, being unable to repair that bad sex you gave, especially with someone you wanted.
Anyhow
The answers I was able to get from those I asked prove something I was expecting, that being, there is so much pressure on male performance in sex than there is on females! Yes! The guys have burdened themselves with this pressure of having to perform and lasting longer, that lasting longer automatically seems to be a factor in defining great sex, it can be; unfairly there doesn’t seem to be much pressure on women as long as the legs are open, and “they” are enjoying it.
However of course they are individuals like myself and others who are flipping that script, who “require” the woman to be equally performative during sex, I mean we are both enjoying this experience, you are getting something out of it, so make it worth my while as well.
So, here we are, trying to answer this (these) questions about sex. I realized that ‘Genitals’ hardly play a role, I mean there is that percentage that it contributes as some highlighted, however, it’ barely scratches the surface.
So big penises, tight vagina, it doesn’t really matter, it all comes down to what can you do. You probably have read a lot on how to be great in bed? How to perform better? Sexual position? Or watched a lot of porn to be get inspired; Out of all those I mentioned it’s fair to state porn doesn’t help much realistically; Every sales person exaggerates about the product a little bit so you can buy it; Porn sells sex, and sometimes very well; the storylines though need a fix up.
Where was I? Per usual in these blogs I write, I like reflecting on my own experience and it won’t be any different with this writing. In my defence, I was young during these times, however given the opportunity, I’d still engage in the acts; in fact, I still have a lot of sex in me that I haven’t explored yet.
I’ve had sex on public stairs, public loos, I’ve had sex on the roof, other places I can’t mention; I’ve had sex on top of a table (My partner being dinner), by a tree, in the shower (location). All these experiences satisfying in their own way. Yes, of course in between if I am honest there were those that I didn’t enjoy very much, why? I think it’s the common factor that I was able to get from everyone when I asked what makes great sex.
I remember how thrilling the quickies I had with my ex were; I recently read a meme that read “quickies” are important in life, and honestly, I cannot deny that fact. Quickies offer this exciting release between two people; sure, at most times the guy is only person that comes, but thing about quickies is, it’s not about lasting long, it’s about enjoying that short intimate penetration between two the two of you.
My ex would be on her way home and I’d see her ass and just want her right in that moment, I mean it happens, then boom! Her skirt would be up and against the wall both of us in ecstasy. Surprise sex can count as a quickie too, and damn is it exciting! I remember one time she just walked in, probably a bad day. No hello really, kissing happened. My clothes were taken off instantly, she pulled up her skirt and sat on me and rode me like crazy, I was bitten that day too. Yes, great sex it was.
Moving on from those images, having sex on the roof was one of the most exciting sexes I’ve had, again the question remains what made it great? With this one, a lot of elements made it great, besides location, one factor being it had been dragging along for 2 years. It was written in both our minds, hearts and genitals that we wanted to have each other.
Yes, ladies and gents, there it is that important element that makes sex great, that is, desire.
DESIRE that is reciprocal.
Reciprocal of course means what it means, desiring each other, that your desire for each could move the earth itself. You could say “but JC, you can’t have sex with someone you don’t desire” well you’d be quite wrong; it’s possible for desire to be one sided; People have meaningless sex quite more often than you’d think.
However, when you desire to satisfy the other person as much as they desire to satisfy you, sex rather becomes something else. Let me be clear, being curious doesn’t really count as desire; being curious about someone can be one sided, unless that curiosity is reciprocal then perhaps, but it’s questionable.
When you desire to satisfy someone as much as they desire to thrill and satisfy you there are no limits to what can happen during the sex you have. People sex is nice, it really is, if you’re willing to let yourself go and enjoy it.
So, desire, let’s place desire as the number factor that makes great sex, and then coming next to that is positions/style that your partner gets into. I want to believe this is the only time that styles/positions can be considered as a factor to great sex. Yes, positions by far contribute to great sex. You know there’s that position he puts you in or that position she gets into that makes it feels like heaven is on earth… Yeeyyyi!!!
Yeah, my mind just went quite far right now here be thinking about the positions the people I have been with get into. There are more factors though, if it was just desire, we would be in a problematic world.
Men have been known to look at women sexually, especially when she looks quite attractive, dressed attractively, sometimes it doesn’t even have to be a nice dress; we are a waste, I know. However the one thing no one wants to talk about is how women do the same, you’ve read books, actually you don’t even need to, just ask a close female you know, women are honest to tell you that “Yes, they do check guys out” I have been direct in asking those questions: Ass is known to be an attractive facet for females in men; I think I wrote about this year’s back in one of my post, I remember stating
“Gents, time to work on that bum, you need it for good thrusting”.
So, what is my point? How does this link to great sex; well it’s rather obvious; there is greater enjoyment in sex if your body is deemed attractive. Let me be clear, this is not me saying, you should work out now, be fit, that you are fat, fuck that; all body types are capable to be great sex givers, if your partner/person finds your body attractive there exists a mental satisfaction already without having even touched them.
Honestly, as I keep writing it seems impossible to pin down the exact things that make up great sex, there are many. You can be so beautiful but be whack in bed. You can have a bid dick, and be horrible in using it. You could have a small penis, and still be horrible too, and that’s just a waste; but you could be very great at giving head/going down on her. And there’s another factor that is quite helpful when engaging in sex or creating sex that can be deemed great.
The satisfying of your partner/person without penetration. I spent a lot of time learning how to be good in that department, and of course you always keep learning sometimes during the act, I believe I have gotten to myself were I am confident that using my mouth I can get my female partner to her destination. They say practice makes better.
To have great you need to be able to use these other sexual actions required in sex use hands, use mouth or even toys, just know how to do it. Some of the answers I got on what makes great were “Great foreplay” makes good, great sex. Foreplay is interesting; foreplay is like a chef tenderizing the meat before cooking it. You get the meat to be nice and tender, the meat is able to be manipulated at will after tenderization.
If foreplay is done just right, the results are similar. With foreplay you fuck your partner psychologically and/or mentally. It was Chris Rock who said something along the lines ‘Dick should be a reward that she gets. You tongue ability should fulfil her, then when you whip it out, she’s like OMG there’s still dick’. Again, it’s goes back to the pressure that men suffer in having to perform, damn! We should change the game.
I am not a huge fan of head, however I have enjoyed quite a few I’ve had from the people I’ve had sex with. Head given on a quickie is rather intense and really pleasurable isn’t it. It really gives the words of great sex a vibration. People, great sex is really hard to pin down; As I keep writing I am realizing that there are more and more factors. However, “DESIRE” remains at the top of the scale/rank.
Desire that is reflected makes sex exhilarating. I can recall the many times, I’ve gazed at a partner’s eyes, I mean looked at her and she looks back, and the air changed in the room, even amongst people and I knew I wanted her and she wanted me. It can happen to even strangers in that moment you know, if not later, sooner both of you will be screaming in blasphemy somewhere.
There is one factor I must mention, that contributes in having a good intimate relationship with someone and producing great sex as a result, that is being able to communicate. Yes, that’s another factor, I should have mentioned it earlier, being able to communicate what you want. Even during the act, itself, it can be recommended, if she s/he flips into that position you know does nothing to you, uhmm tell them.
Well, understanding though that sometimes sex does needs sacrifices, that you can let your partner have 1 or 2 positions because they like it, not that it does anything for you, but because it gets them to that state. If you want to try something new with them tell them. Aghh this is turning into me giving sex advice, eeeuuueewwww! I am merely trying to answer what makes great sex!
For me to get a clear perspective I need you the reader to share your thoughts. I am interested in knowing what makes sex great for you, yes, you, the person reading this. I’d really be a fool if I believed I could fully answer such a deep query by myself
What makes great sex for you? What gets you going, don’t be afraid, remember communication is important.
Curious_copious 