How do you prove to someone that you’re worth their time and you are hoping they will be worth your time too?
In anytime, a human relationship has always been difficult to create or manage. You have to think and consider all these things that might effect/affect it.
Personality? Interests? Culture? Language, People etcetera. I think it’s the first time in my life I have written the full word etcetera.
Anyway, in creating a new relationship online, whatever format it might take, is difficult. The biggest problem is, perhaps trying to figure out if the person on the other side is interested at all.
Now, I am a kinesthetic individual; every past relationship I’ve had in my life has been created through physically meeting the person. I am good at that stuff, interacting physically. I mean I have a qualification in it.
A relationship that needs to grow over the phone or text is hard; reason(s) being I can’t see the authenticity of the person on the other end. We’ve all laughed on text but not even smiling in reality, it happens.
Am I making sense?
I feel like I’m not being clear yet, perhaps I should make a personal example. I’m currently in a process of trying to build a “relationship” from an online meet. I swiped right, why? Not why am I trying to meet people online, that’s a question for another day.The question I am asking is, why did I swipe right? Well Andrew Stanton best explains it in his Tedtalk as follows
“We’ve all be there, after switching through so my channels on the TV and suddenly you stop on one, it’s already half way, but you watch because you are drawn to it…it’s by design”
Same thing as well, I found myself stopping, after countless swipes, I stopped at this image. Nothing written, just images that seemed to have a conversation with my eyes and I was curious, turns by out chance? it was the same on the other side.
So we talked, yet, here I am writing. Why am I? Well there’s this heavy feeling on me. I don’t know what emotions the person on the side is going through, if there’s any at all? There’s no way I can tell; it’s awful.
If a physical interaction has occurred I promise I’d be feeling lighter on my chest, but it’s heavy damn. My biggest problem is that I am feeling like I am doing too much? I feel that way because I don’t know yet know which route this relationship will take.. I could be busy interacting like it’s going to be a novel, but the other person only sees a short story; Could be seeing the relationship as just a movie, but the other person sees a series full of ups and downs.
So, how do I talk? It’s not as if I am getting much either; Is that perhaps a sign? or I am over thinking?
I could go online and read manipulative advice from those who have gone through it, but then it wouldn’t be me acting the way I act. So ultimately the way to go is just doing what I would do and hope for the best? Another thing that I could possibly do is ask myself’ What do I want?’
Frankly I don’t seem to have a straight answer and that’s where the issue lies; not being able to figure what exactly I want…
Damn that’s kind of scary.
What’s your advice? What has your experience been, if you’ve ever created some courtship through online “assistance”?
2 Replies to “Courting on [the] line”
One of the most frustrating thing to happen in one’s life now, a meet up via text. I’ve had about 3 relationships that were online 2 of those guys I’ve never met till this day. All of this happened about 6 years ago, which was very easy and organic. Now it feels heavy because of what we’re exposed to (I think), everyone on the socials knowing too much and always adding their 2 cents worth of opinion.
Our own insecurities holding us bound and not wanting to let go as we would had we met physically (very reasonable). So, what I’m getting to is we do not realise the amount of relationships we have online, we might have met physically maybe only once and our relationship has been maintained online. That shows that it is not all that bad, as much as it is not as satisfying…
I hope I make sense.
That hits hard… the line “the amount of relationships we have online”… I mean Facebook is one place were we have all these relationships with people we’ve never even met… it’s not necessarily intimate but these people are exposed to so many moments of your life, and we nilly dilly share these moments.