Going through a break up is like experiencing Groundhogs day.
For those unfamiliar Groundhog’s Day is a Bill Murray film in which he relives the same day over and over again. Although many “versions” of the film have been made in the past years, I still somehow recall Murray’s version possibly because of the early tune “Groundhogs Day” that plays every morning he woke up.
So, how does this relate to going through a break up? Well, it’s repetition; that sense of waking up each morning knowing the person you’re in love with you is no longer in your life.
That sense of realisation haunts you.
Just like Murray’s film there are things that you try to change each day, so it doesn’t feel so bad, until you catch yourself in a moment or situation that reminds of that person, and you just want to die😂
Experiencing the same day over and over again let’s you explore a lot of emotions, it’s like an emotional roller coaster.
One day you wake up feeling sad, the next day you feel angry, the next frustrated, the next day calm because there is a certain belief at the back of your mind that perhaps it’s meant to be this way. Another day you want to pick up a phone and say Hi!
I hadn’t been in a relationship for about 2 years. As I know myself to be very analytic, I need to sink into different situations with a person so I know exactly what about them I like.
The only issue with that is, once I sink into deep, and things don’t go well, I am left drowning in all these memories, that might not necessary belong to me, but I have loved them as my own. Fuck, I sound like I’m saying a riddle.
It hasn’t even been that long, yet I feel like my bed at night is a deep swimming pool, that I sink deep into, so I tend to wake up in the middle of the night to sit for a while, I’m scared of drowning.
Hours were I think of a story but have no one I want to tell but them.
So what does one do, when they feel stuck in this day of emotional drama, well create a different routine to drown out this noise of the other.
Run, even if the memories chase you, run. Sweat, even if the sweat reminds you of being locked inside a room with them mingling your bodies and merging your feelings, just sweat it all out.
Create another routine that makes you think anew, eventually, you’ll feel better, not all of you, but part of you and then you begin again.
I might pulling a straw out my ass; enlighten me. Write to me, what does a break up feel like to you?