Def. : a taint of guilt :
Dirty, like I haven’t washed in days, I wasn’t washing in days.
Skin crawling with invisible insects, I scratch til I bleed yet I still feel stained.
I feel dirty by the laddered words ‘it got worse and worse’. Each day the night was a repeated nightmare
Repeat, repeat, repeat!
Unclean, no matter how many times I stand, sit under the raining shower my body still feels stained.
I feel stained, I feel drained. My body is chopped up into puzzle pieces, I can’t seem to put myself together nor fit myself together.
If I am feeling like this, I can only wonder how worse it might be for you.
Every memory of me and you is now foggy, like shards piercing my skins, each time I remove one, another one explodes in the distance, before I blink it has dug itself into my skin.
What was real? What was not? Lines have been blurred, I kneel to the ground searching for these lines, there is no answer there on my knees, just emptiness, stained with silence.