It takes time, some of us don’t even realize it, but it sucks not being “cool” I am being like an emoji putting my hand on my face right now
I have to admit that I am not cool, well not as much as I thought I was, who am I kidding, I definitely am not
Of course in these days and time being cool is associated with being an extrovert, going out, having a few drinks, “wildin out”, which I am definitely not, especially around people.
Can I wild out? Uhmm I have doubts, I can “dance” per se but it’s about time I accepted that I am shyer than I thought I was
The epitome of being cool; lately I have not been able to make new friends/significant other, which leads me to conclude perhaps I am not as cool as I thought; the people I’ve “lost” perhaps didn’t get the energy they required around me? I am in no way saying that’s a bad thing, however I am saying it kinda sucks 😝
I was talking to my brother, Fiddy who is significantly more social than I am, asking him why can’t I get women like everyone else, why I get myself friend zoned
I won’t bore you with this long conversations but it was beneficial, I got a chance to reflect, listen I am not bad with women, strange enough I’ve been able to “hook up” with people, but there are moments were I can’t, again listen I ain’t great with women either
The epitome of being cool. If I can quote two individuals in this moment, I’d quote Hitch who says “You can’t be what you are not, if you’re out going be out going” I’m not outgoing, that’s okay. For me depends on what out going means, and Just like Larry David did, I can admit that I am not a “cool” guy, cool I assure you can mean lot of things, but in current standards, I am not very cool.
I dance and sing with a broom everytime I clean. I whistle and sing everytime I cook, a horrible singer at that. I carry my diary all the time because I never know if I’ll need something to write, why not use a phone you say, well, it’s not the fucking same. I listen to 80s music too much, but you’ll never figure me out through the music I listen, yeah, I’m pretty sure you won’t, I sometimes just listen to water sounds, just water pouring out of different things, even I think it’s weird, I can listen to wind blowing through something.
I randomly quote lines from movies, out loud, in my defense how can you not quote Bane though “Victory has defeated you”
I am an “intellect” and I’d like to think I am funny? debatable really 😂 All of these things you won’t be able to get access to unless I really trust you; Yeah you can get a glimpse but if I trust you, all bombs away!
Perhaps my worse trait especially after talking to my brother is that I listen too much (Who knew that could be a fucking bad thing) I’m too much of a psychologist, I can’t help it, I do have a qualification in it but “I don’t think people need a psychologist, especially when looking for a random f@#k” those are my brothers words, not mine, but might be truer than I had realize
Yeah my listening and talking is so bad that my brothers would constantly tell me we were having a full on conversation whilst I was asleep; I can’t seem to help myself, I like listen to people.
It sucks not being cool, yeah of course we can say ‘ you’ll find people who think you’re cool but what about the people you thought were cool for you??
Sweet fucking life!
You’d think after reaching 30 just last week, I’d be content with life, have most answers, but this life thing is a curveball.
Why am I not “cool”? What does it really mean to be cool? I can recall the anime Hajime no Ippo, the main character Ippo just wanted to know the feeling of one thing, he was driven by one question, what does it mean to be strong? What is being strong? Then he threw himself into this world trying to find out. Just like Ippo the question is, what does it mean to be cool? Will I even find an answer?
I don’t know, I’m willing to find out even if it means I need to be kind of an asshole but like Stella I am aiming to get my groove back.
What does it mean to be cool for you?