I will be honest right from the beginning, this list is weird, however in that weirdness you’ll find yourself saying “Hmmm that’s actually true” I am sure that reaction won’t be for all the things that appear in here, but if you’re honest with yourself, you’ll admit to having done them.
Let’s begin to look at intellectual bullshit is on today
- Re-eating something that was stuck on your teeth
Have you ever struggled with some piece of meat stuck in your teeth, or whatever you’ve been indulging and got stuck on your teeth? You have that long battle with the substances, a war basically in your mouth region. You get floss which is revolting on its own or a toothpick, and you fight; somehow the fight lingers on and on. After a long battle you finally are able to get that bastard out your teeth…then bara boom, you swallow it.
WHAT THE FUCK!!!
I know, I am not the only one who has gone through this, unless I am then that would mean I am strange; Frankly I don’t mind being strange. Anyhow, the swallowing of this defeated foe is a declaration of victory in a strange way. It’s a pretty strange act isn’t it though; having struggled so hard to get this thing out your teeth then boom you put it back in your mouth. I am not saying it is never spat out; there are moment where you spit it out, but I can tell you 70/80% of the time if not more you swallow that bastard…and it is utterly satisfying!! As mortal combat would say
- Putting hands down your pants.
Can you get your mind out of the gutter please! I don’t mean what you think I mean, but during these times of social distancing maybe I do. Anyhow, when I was young, even my little brother and cousins; we had this habit that my mother absolutely hated of putting our hands inside our pants, not in the pockets but were the genitals live. Now before you jump to conclusions again, no, it was not to jerk off rather it was because it was so warm down there. You probably have tried it, you won’t admit because well you think “you are like waaaay better, well suck it”
We got reprimanded quite a lot for this action, but we…let me speak for myself rather, I couldn’t help it. To be honest now and again as an adult admittingly I find my hands nuzzling down my pants. Just cuddling, pillow conversation, you know. This is one of the most satisfying things to do really. Now do not go and do it publicly, it’s a private thing, when you are by yourself, watching a movie or cold. Think about how when you are cold you place your hands between your thighs, technically this is the same act.
- Pulling your underwear/clothing out your butt
Ever had that moment? You know what I am talking about. I swear sometimes it happens at the most awkward moments; You will be walking in the streets with people behind you and baam, you can feel your underwear or clothing nicely tucked in your butt crack.
“Ahhhh curse YOU underwear!!” I wanted to say BUZZLIGHTYEAR so bad.
Anyhow, you try to wiggle wiggle as Jason Derulo says but it’s not that easy. You have to use that hand of yours. So secretly you get that hand and you pop that clothing out that crack. That my friend is satisfying. Your butt is free. You are free. I want you to imagine that moment really, how satisfying it is; you’ve never paid attention to it? This is the moment.
You know when this happens in the streets, clothing stuck, you almost feel like the people behind you can see your clothing is tucked in there
“ahh look at that. His/her butt is eating”
It doesn’t show, relax!
- Peeing in the shower
Euuueeewww!!! X 2
Ahh shut up! Shut it! You’ve done it! You’ve released that pee in the shower and it felt good! It felt pretty awesome. You were like Lil’ Wayne…making it rain.
You’ve done it, come on. Agree with me. You are denying it?? Shame on you!
Admittingly I have partaken in this act of peeing in the shower. I wanted to try it out… a couple of times. I was young and in university res, if I don’t experience most my first times in university where else was it possible?!! Pee is water, luke warm water and you just let it all mix together. When it comes to the shower, really there are most many interesting things one can get up too, including…naah let’s not go there, kodwa ke this act deserves to be on the list because it is utterly satisfying.
I actually googled peeing in the shower, you would laugh at the things people say. Which basically means, I am not the only one who thinks of such shit!
- Cleaning your ears
I bet you are agreeing with me right now. This one maybe perhaps the most gratifying act you can do. Well, not only is it hygienic but it gives you that feeling; I can’t describe it. All I can say is Orgasm watch out, you have competition my friend. While I am there…orgasm and stuff.
It was the comic Deon Cole, Yeah, Deon Cole? You don’t know who that is? Well he is Charlie in the comedy series Grown-ish which is not a bad show really; yes I watch it, suck it. Anyhow, yes, Deon Cole said he once almost died when he was masturbating and tried to clean his ears at the same time…because no human deserves to feel that good at once. Honestly think about it, yeah I think he is right, one would actually die. If you’re a sex freak like…. mmmm…
If you are, and you can do things with the ears during sex. Give it a go and see the reaction; as the great theatre practitioners said “Action causes reaction” I tell you my friend you do it right. Angels sing. Let me tell you a secret
“Ears count as erogenous zone” what does that mean? Google it!
Now don’t be all sloppy on the girl/boy’s ears.
These are mostly satisfying things to do, I kid you not. Now before I conclude, I have a bonus entry I would like to add. I couldn’t really find space for it in the top 5 but as watchmojo says “an honourable mention” goes to
- Just being naked
I know most people don’t like it, and don’t really enjoy being in their birthday suit but I tell you now, being naked is one of the most humanly satisfying things to do. Ahhh the breeze that passes on those balls/ breasts anyone? and the crack of the bum. Being naked is like you are letting the wind bathe you. I don’t even want to mention how awesome this act is when it is hot…and I mean hot, hot…and there you are asleep, naked.
I have enjoyed so many nights sleeping naked, little more than others. I don’t know sometimes when one sleeps naked, you tend to have those kinds of dreams if you know what I mean.
So, there you have it, ladies and gentlemen. I am sure in this list you have at least enjoyed one strange thing. If you have not, uhmmm what’s that phrase GO DIE you… I am joking don’t die.
You know what will be satisfying to you as you read this blog post? To play
“DELIBES- FLOWER DUET (Lakme)”