Our country is under siege and it’s not even a foreign country making us bleed but ourselves. I have what I can look at as a solution, I have put some thought into it, but perhaps like my favorite comedian Dave Chappelle whose recent special Sticks and Stones, has split a bridge between critics and the people; I feel I will be castrated for this suggestion.
I believe men, perhaps those of colored skin need a HOLIDAY, yes, a holiday, literally a holiday for men. You are reading this correctly and your internal voice might be say WTF!! I want you to hear me well. I do have reasoning behind this ludacris suggestion; So take a deep, perhaps go grab a glass of water to sit down with, if you feel your head heating up quicker, perhaps a glass of cold one will do but hold that thought.
Men in South Africa need a holiday named after them uhmmm something simple like MEN’s Holiday. Men are still in war, still in battle not with just themselves but life in general, if I could phrase it in a name Men are suffering from PTSD, and we all have an idea how hard that disorder is, especially if one is in denial of it’s existence. This disorder affects all those around the individual suffering from it, badly too. The black man’s masculinity feels threatened. Oopps!! Here goes your blood pressure, drink some water, I can feel you reading this and your blood boiling, take a gulp.
In South Africa it’s easy to remember hotlines for helping women and children, it’s easy to get help for abuse, it’s fairly easy to win a court case for custody or marriage were a women can get half of what you own as a man, hell it’s easier to start a campaign or hashtag for women and even homosexuals, I can go on about so many things that it is easier for women to have access to, in all fairness some well deserving. I can be honest and say during my childhood seeing my mother cry, I’d wonder why no one is really helping her out and got angry at myself for not having the strength to help. So, I understand.
What I fail to understand is why Men do not have the same privilege? Do you know what the men’s abuse hotline is? Do you know where men can go if they have been raped? What about a hastag? I can give you a minute to drink your water again. You definitely know it’s not easy for a man to go to the police station to report a case of abuse or rape, it’s been that way for years. I want you to hear me very carefully, I do not in any way condone violent men, abusive men, killers, alcoholics, I loath them with a passion.
What i am trying to make you and I understand is that masculinity is still boxed in. Men, straight men to say are feeling skipped. There are all these many ways to help women, children and homosexuals but no easy way to help men. If there are ways there are not easily accessible and ofcourse there is that fear of being laughed at…oh! fuck men is men’s enemy sometimes. There are lot of events and actions being taken for women, against men thus men are gaining nothing. These guys honestlyt feel attacked but you want to argue so you won’t see it, even now probably fuming with anger “I’m part of the problem” am I?
For things to be 50/50 both parties need to feel like they are both gaining something, not one side to keep losing, that it suddenly feels like their worth is vanishing because this leads to indecent retaliation. South African black man are still at war, it is perhaps the only way they believe their gene pool can survive and this is taught directly or vicariously. So many masculine ideas til this day are still being practiced, perpetrated, fanned like a blazing fire. It is our culture, it is who we are blah blah blah… we are bleeding though, our blood gushing out and we can’t wait for the government to help us, well my title does suggest that we do, because it’s the government that can create a holiday.
Men internally wants to be shown that they have value still, that all those times fighting battles and war, building roads, mining and god knows what, that their value as men still exist. As one performer of mine always highlights in my written play NONKULULEKO “It’s the approach” that’s bad. These men, us, are showing/ asking the need of value and hELP in the most ruthless of ways. We need a holiday, I can foresee it now how effective it would be, I am a mad man I know, but if something is bleeding in order for it to heal you plaster it and give it time to recover. WE are all wrong because our 50/50 is actually not half and half, but of course you’ll deny that too.
Our country is in turmoil, but we certainly have been in worse situations before, this one is different but it can be healed.